I've been feeling a bit out of control lately- not like the I'm going crazy out of control- just not in control. I like to be in control- I like order, neatness. This is evident by how it is harder for me to sleep at night when I know my house is a mess.

But lately, I just feel out of control in several aspects of my life. I find myself trying to wrangle myself back in- into control.

When I was little my sisters and I used to do this thing where we would stand in a doorway and press our arms against the frame of the door and count to 30 or something I think. Then when you were done - you step out of the doorway and try to put your arms down- only to find that they want to float back up on their own. The other night I lay in bed and felt as though my arms were just floating up on their own.

I am sure that I can pin point several logical reasons for this feeling- #1 is probably stress from my crazy job lately- but it all feels different this time. because I'm not in control- I guess I am more of a control freak than I like to admit- maybe I am just trying to hard to hang on instead of just letting go- or maybe I am just missing the point altogether.